Sir Clegg

Me and Cam so rich that we both went
off to work in Parliament.
Always voting as I was told
leaving all the Libs out in the cold
I voted for the cuts so selfishly
that now I am the PM's deputy.

Of Tory policy I'm unaware
but they got my vote so I don't care
I don't care for the plebs you see
cos now I'm the PM's deputy.
I sold out and became power crazy
when they made me the PM's deputy.

They say I was once a principled man
but now the country's going down the pan
going down the pan all because of me
being made the PM's deputy.
I thought so little of others you see
once they made me Cameron's deputy.

So all you MP's whoever you may be
you can rise like scum to the top like me
if you have no principles at all
and Tory Toffs give you the call
turn your back on the people and climb that tree
and you all may one day be the deputy.

The Prime Minister's Song

I am the very model of a modern prime minister,
I’ve information political, fiscal, and sinister,
I know my spin advisers, and I spout their lies habitual,
From Brussells to Washington, in order not very factual;
I'm very acquainted, too, with matters sort of financial,
I understand posh boy Tory boom and Labour bust-ical,
About duck houses and porn films I can endlessly enthuse,
With many cheerful facts about expense fiddles in the news.
I’m au fait with Liberals, Cable and Clegg and whatsiname;
I know the Strictly judges and slumming celebs seeking fame,
In short, in matters newsy, popular, and on Twitter,
I am the very model of a modern Prime Minister.